DZ-Dirt

The truth never stands in our way.

May 2000 / Volume XXI

 United sees a new drop zone in its future.
Interview With The President
dzdirt Most likely, everyone who jumps at united knows the land at our dz has been sold. Before we talk about moving to another location, tell me. Is there any hope of continuing to jump at New hanover after the sale is final?

prez First, and the biggest fact is that we will lose the license to the airport ON THE DAY THE SETTLEMENT IS SIGNED. We will then have to shuttle to Limerick for the rest of our stay at New Hanover. It's in the FARs of the FAA. Can't do it without an airport license. And they have been calling every two weeks to find out the status and will enforce the rules. The paraplanes don't need an airport and hence can
stay until they are thrown out. By the way, they are looking for
a new home as well and are not staying, as the rumor from my
favorite negative guy,AL K. says. So what if that happens on the Friday of the boogie(a very possible senerio)?? I am trying to nail down the settlement date as we write and do know that it
can be anytime after Aug 31. Boogie time. 

dzdirt Tell us about your search for a new place to jump. Have all local options been explored?

prez I must have looked at 20 airports and had the door slammed in my face so much that I now breathe through my ears. I have even been to Harrisburg for a day to see
what the status is with places like Johnsville and talked with
politicians about a place for us. More doors slamming.

 Pottstown looked pretty good for awhile but even our man,"I'll bury you in concrete up to your cajones if you don't see it my way" Dan Delsordo said there is no hope and we are better off spending our time walking the handcart to Chattanuga. The ONLY airport that has even thought of entertaining the idea of United is the Flying M.

dzdirt Tell us about the flying M.

prez The M is a really nice grass strip about 20 minutes north of Allentown and we have been promised all the infrastructure we need, pics
are in the packing area on the wall. We will be able to do what
we want within reason and the owner has said that we can have over 5 acres for a trailer park for all those people that have to drive the 4 hours it'll take to get there. Bake Oven Knob and appalachian trail are close as well as 12,000 acres of state gamelands on our border. It is real pretty and truly a place for the next thirty years for United. The airport has it all and we can still do what United does best...party and make big fires!

dzdirt The rumor mill has been cranking out some pretty wild
stuff. We heard one coment that the clubs power base chose the new place because it's closer for them. Would you care to coment on that?

prez The"Lehigh valley contingent" had nothing to do
with it and I honestly did not hear from anybody about the M's proximity....except for the ones it would affect the most.
Psycho Joe just ought to look at it like he's taking a nice
vacation every weekend.

 Hell, the skydivers in California think nothing of driving two hours to get to the DZ. We're spoiled and there is just nothing near a metropolitan area like Phila. The M is not even locked up and we really are screwed if it doesn't come through. I feel like I am living in Napa valley with all the whining going on. And if anybody has any decent ideas on possible airports, now is the time to tell me. I check out every lead.

dzdirt We hear that a target date for the move is some
time in July. Why leave before we have to?

prez We need to move when we have the most help, sometime during the season. Like July when jumping drops off due to the heat. But most of
all to take of the free advertising we are going to get from WZZO radio for the Jump for the Cure weekend AUG 12 to 14. They want to  do it every year and it would really boost our presence. This ,by the way, is part of my master marketing plan and anybody ought to talk with Fiona Middleton about it. She and I have pow wowed a lot and I think my plan will work. I probably have more marketing experience than most at the DZ and I guess this is one of those things that people just have to believe that I know best. Hell, you assholes elected me so suck it up 'cause Dave(Adolf) Burt gets to run the ship for 8 more months.

dzdirt Will there be a boogie this year? 

prez Definitely, yes and it will be at a new home if I have anything to do with it.

dzdirt thanks Dave.

prez I hope this clears up some of the rumors. I feel like I just took a really big shit.


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