DZ-Dirt

June 29, 1998 / Volume XV

This Month: You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't roll your friends into little balls and throw them away.

CHEUNG COACHES SWEDISH CRW
Ted Cheung, avid CRW enthusiast and one of the bright stars of Diamond Quest CRW team, spent a week in Sweden recently, coaching the locals on the finer points of canopy relative work. "The scenery was magnificent and the jumpers were friendly and eager to learn," said Ted. When asked if he was distracted by the Swedish women's relaxed attitude about nudity,Ted said, "Women walked topless around the bunkhouse but I hardly noticed their full, round breasts that hung like sweet, nectar filled mangos."

BITS AND PIECES
Jeff Buss lines his helmet with Maxi pads.... Don't ask why...
Jim Beyer got a cellular phone. Now he's looking for someone to call.
Most erotic fights.............
Bob Christ and Karen Dysert.

QUOTES
"You can't jump out of money in the bank." Dan DelSordo
"Both Donna and I are pretty hard up." Dottie
"How long has your daughter been jumping with you?" A newbie asks Mike Bailey.

THANKS to "anonymous" for your generous donation in memory of Scott Landis. It will be used for student gear.

HERD DAY BLAST
The herd members were out in force for the second annual Herd day in the beginning of June.Walt, Silvia, Sweeny, the Huffer and more were there to show the newbees (the rest of us) how to party, and they made a sky dive too. Bill Sweeney must have been satisfied with his performance, since he did not burn his jumpsuit this year.
Speaking of Performance The Prince says that Viagra puts lead in your pencil.

PRINCESS VISITS DROPZONE
Cyndi Rice,alias "the Princess" stopped by the United dropzone one day last month and made a skydive. "It's always good to return to my roots", said Cyndi. For the second year in a row she's been training intensely with an 8 way rw team headed for the nationals. Her friends at United wish her good luck and great dives. When asked why she is sometimes referred to as the Princess, Cyndi had no comment. But a source close to her said,"It's because she owns more shoes than Amelda Marcos and has a wardrobe closet so big that she once got lost in it." Said the friend," Sometimes on rainy days she just likes to stay home and dress up."

UNITED HOSTS RECORD MUDFEST
Months of hard work and planning for Uniteds rw record attempt went down the drain when the weather went to hell. Among the multitude who showed up to lend their bodies to a hundred way the consensus was the Bob Christ did an excellent job of putting the event together. But when it came to picking the right weekend, he really sucked. In spite of endless rains the crowd was entertained. There were raft and couch rides and an awful lot of skydivers got really drunk Said one,"This shook our confidence. If you can't depend on Christ for good weather who can you count on?

PSYCHO MOURNS DEAD GRASS
After weeks of babying his newly planted grass, feeding it, watering it, watching it grow inch by inch, Psycho Joe saw it mercilessly murdered by meandering mobs of skydivers during the record weekend. He has vowed not to plant another blade of grass."That's fine," said Gigi. "Because he was really getting pissy about it." In case you were wondering whatever happened to Soss?? He shaved his head,lost the earrings, traded the Harley for a Hyundai and sells bibles and vacuum cleaners door to door.